Dreams and Passions

Hello there.

I seriously doubt anyone is still reading this, seeing as I have posted once so far this year and it's almost April, which I'm not sure I even want to think about honestly. But I've missed blogging, so I thought I'd use this opportunity of a platform that only very few eyes will see to express my feelings. Maybe future me will read this someday and remember what a strange teenager I was. If that is the case, hello future me. I hope you're happy with your life now, wherever it may be.

Just highlighting that point about me being strange here.

Anyway let me get on to the topic of this rainy Thursday in March: Dreams and Passions.

I decided I wanted to be a film composer when I was about fourteen. I think this kind of freaked my parents out a bit, as coming from a non-musical family it seemed a bit out of the blue, and, I mean, musicians aren't exactly the highest paid people. Although my parents both studied drama at university, so they can hardly talk. But anyway, that's another story.

Music and composing is my greatest passion, and I honestly couldn't go a day without it. So it seems fitting to choose this as my career, right? I'd rather spend every day doing something I love than waste my life in a job I hate. Nonetheless, it is extremely daunting and I'll admit I'm a little frightened. Firstly, the music industry is a big and scary place. There are so many people trying to make a living out of it that I can't help feeling that I'm just one in a million, and there's no way in hell I'll be good enough. I feel like I doubt myself too much, and yet there is always part of me that really is convinced that I have no talent whatsoever and I'm just another tiny fish in a huge, blue ocean. But I am determined to prove myself wrong, to follow my dream no matter what everyone else says.

Of course, the other fear is that if I try and make a job out of a hobby I will start to hate it. I don't think this is likely, as I love composing far too much, but there's always that little voice in my head telling me everything that could go wrong. Man, I hate that little voice. But what if, after years of studying and looking for jobs and slaving over hours of work I find that I don't want to compose anymore? What then, after wasting all those years?

Well, my friend (yes that's myself I'm referring to as my friend), then you just start again. Go back to university or college or whatever, and find yourself another passion. I think what some teenagers don't realise is that choosing a degree now doesn't have to determine how you spend the rest of your life. I mean, we've all heard of a mid-life crisis, right? But on a serious note, it's never too late to change the course of your life. Sure, it's not easy - it never is - but it's not impossible. All it takes is hard work, a passion, and a dream.

So yes, I want to study music next year when I'm done with school. I have no idea where it will take me, but I guess it will be a journey. And it's how I want to spend my life. At least for the moment.

One of my favourite movie quotes is from Night at the Museum 3, of all things. I know, classic. But it goes like this. One man says to his friend, "I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow."

The friend replies, "How exciting."

Side note: how cool is this picture of me playing the piano? I kinda love it.